


Polygraph eyes

by Hopefully_not_a_shitty_ballerina



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Rape, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:27:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24275056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopefully_not_a_shitty_ballerina/pseuds/Hopefully_not_a_shitty_ballerina
Summary: Disclaimer I'm fragile, this happened to me, and this is my way of coping. Don't be mean please.Tyler talks to his therapist about his recent activities and how they affect his day to day life.
Kudos: 2





	Polygraph eyes

Disclaimer: this is an act of fiction, nothing more, nothing less. Any ties that it may have to real life events are between me and my therapist my friens.

“I don’t want to be touched. I don’t want to think about it,”

“About what Tyler?”

“It comes in flashes”

“Flashes?”

_He’s lifting up my legs, trying to get a better angle. It hurts, I’m trying to push him away but I’m not strong enough. He touches me, and I can feel my heart breaking._

Tyler shook his head violently, trying to etch-a-sketch his brain. Billie sat patiently waiting for him to continue.

“I guess you could say I was raped, but….” He shook his head again, tears threatening to fall, “it doesn’t feel like it. It wasn’t violent, not like most rape is it was…… gentle? But I didn’t want it, and I told him I didn’t want it.”

“And you remember it in flashes?”

“yeah,”

“Like PTSD?”

“I don’t think so….”

“describe these flashes for me.”

_So much pressure, it’s good that the lights are off so he can’t see me cry. Am I crying? I must be, I can feel the tears on my face._

“It’s like I’m their, having it happen to me. I feel the same emotions that I feel when it happened. I know it’s my fault…”

“It’s not your fault Tyler,” she said gently, tyler balled up his fists and rubbed them against his jeans.

“It is though, I practically ASKED for it to happen.”

“Tyler of course you didn’t…”

“But I did!”

_“You’ve got to be the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen” he reached out and caressed Tyler’s face, a red flag went off in Tyler’s head, but he ignored it. He liked the attention, no one ever gave this kind of attention to Tyler._

“How did you ask for it?”

“he was…”

_“All these tattoos baby, you enjoy being hurt?”_

“he complimented me,” Tyler spit out, he popped his knuckles against his thigh and avoided his therapist’s gaze. “It was a red flag, I should have known…”

“That he would rape you?”

“Yes.”

“That’s not fair,”

“Life isn’t fair.” Tyler snapped.

_His hands are cold, his whole body like ice, I know where my pepper spray is, why don’t I use it?_

“You aren’t upset with me Tyler,” He sighed and flopped back into the chair, covering his face with his hands. Bill sat, clicking his pen in his hand like he did when he was getting impatient.

_His hands are on my face again. He pulls me in close, kissing my lips. It feels wrong, we just met, and he’s already got his hands all over me. This is wrong._

“I’m sorry,” Tyler whispered, “I’m having a bad day.”

“That’s understandable, you’ve had a rough few days.” The clicking stopped, “Let’s talk about what you said, why should him complimenting you have been a red flag?”

“I’m not attractive. No one finds me attractive; I should have known…”

“That he would rape you?”

“Yes,” Bill shook his head.

“That’s not fair to you Tyler, what if Jenna said something akin to that?”

Tyler tensed, “It’s not true, she’s beautiful, a lot of people find her attractive.”

_I want to go home… I need to shower, I smell like sex I can’t go home like this._

_“want to shower here?” he’s got this lazy grin on his face, my lower half burns. In the dim light no one can see my tears._

_“Yeah,” I manager, “I’ll shower here.”_

“does that mean that people want to rape her?”

“No, that’s not what I said.”

“That I’m not attractive,”

“That’s’ your opinion, “

“It’s my fucking face!”

“you don’t need to be pretty to deserve respect.” Bill said firmly. Tyler stood and shoved. His feet into his shoes, he grabbed his backpack and stood by the door and looked pointedly at Bill.

“Time’s up.” He said quietly.

“Are you safe?”

“Yes.” Never mind he wanted to carve his skin up, he wouldn’t and that was the important part.

Bill sighed, “I hate to leave it like this,” Tyler shrugged. “Alright Tyler, I’ll see you in a week. Be safe, ok?”


End file.
